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No matter the many times tried to comprehend, the hours, minutes and seconds. Were they a waste? The answer differs depending on who is talked to, who is asked. If friends or family, the answers are varying degrees of positivity. While the opposite is true if people from my past are asked.

Early, while my brain injury was like a wee lad, I prayed to my Almighty Father, pleading, that I would only remember the necessary things about my past. That which would prove useful to me in my future endeavors. So, despite some weird looks, I have long since been saying peace instead of goodbye, see you later, or any the other.

Not because I think it's cool or anything, it too is what it is. No more no less. Really, would you like the opposite… War? Hate? How idiotic would I look? My reasoning when I say peace, not every time but everlasting peace derives from the Prince of Peace. He is the only place True Peace can be found.

  

ALL my history is uniquely spotty seeing that what is ‘membered… is. What isn’t… is NOT. The miraculous thing… the thing that scared me at first and still does was the mix I found myself in. Although not distinctly remembering it now, as far as what color the hospital drapes where. Or the eyes of the fellow patient sharing the room with me. Everything goes down a few notches of importance, almost dying.

The notion which I believed and took to heart states that there are only three types of people in this world, neutral, friends, and enemies. Which after going through what I went through, remixing up the fixup. I find that there is a plethora of other kinds of people and those kinds are able to change by the second into a myriad of other kinds. From what can be remembered from before, which isn't much, one word pretty much describes how I was.

Mentally and physically, emotionally ... I was random. That is what little I could be dredge out of my mother, and what little remains of my memories of younger childhood. First choosing to be that way in high school, because everything is a choice. Ninth grade, to be more exact than not.  Those realities have brought me to the conclusion that I have always been some degree wilder than tame. That and the colors orange and green. From an early age it has always been my favorite color.

Maybe the choice to be random occurred because of the lacking of a male figure in my early years or the disruptive relationship between my mother and I. Beside that and various other “trinkets”(memories)